Choose Your Battles.

It’s a must nowadays. It seems these last few months of my life have been one big game of chess. Every move I make has been affecting someone else in some way. Now I do realize that life has always been like this, but it seems I’ve been more aware of it now more than ever. It seems as if I’m actually moving these pieces purposely to get what I want.

Sounds terrible, huh? Let me reword.

It’s not exactly about getting what I want or having something play out in my favor (or else a lot of shit would be different) but it’s about what I know will happen with time instead of right now. I’m not living so much for right now, as much as I am for the future. I make my moves based on what I feel will happen in due time. Stupid? Nah, I say wise. Because what I know I want in the future, I really can do without right now.

Think about it…

Many things have popped up between friends and handling that has proven to be a problem for me as well as with others. I’m taking the backseat with information I have and letting everyone’s life play out the way it will. But it’s hard. It’s hard to know something that will ultimately break a friends heart. It’s even harder to feel a certain way about someone but have to keep it inside. Sometimes things are better left unsaid, but those unspoken words can destroy you.

Right?

You can’t exactly open your mouth at every given point. Well you can, but that’s not very tactful. Nor is it smart. Never let another know how you’re playing the game. Keep your next move quiet or else the right people will take it the wrong way and ultimately you’ll end up losing way more than you bargained for.

Remember, choose your battles wisely.

*drops mic*

With You, I Am An Open Book.

I will not yet confess every sin to him, but I’ll definitely confirm them.

It’s not like it use to be. You simply have to watch what you say to too many people nowadays; even friends. Not all of your friends, but most. And judging from experience, it’s usually females you have to worry about. But it seems that you’ll eventually meet (or have met) someone that you instantly feel you can trust your life with.

Instantly; (as a conjunction): as soon as; directly

I can meet someone and know within minutes whether I can trust them or not. How far I can trust them, with what, how long they’ll be trustworthy and under what circumstances that they may not be. It’s what I do. I read people. You may be trustworthy but highly judgmental and those are the people I despise the most. And by judgmental I do not mean, judging me on what I wear or petty things like that, I mean judging my life and the decisions I’ve made/making when you know absolutely nothing about me. Those that do know me think they know me…so judging what you think you know is just as wrong; you know nothing.

But then there’s that one person (perhaps two) that you would pour your heart out to knowing he/she is not judging you, is not going to be bias and will always keep it real with you no matter what. I truly appreciate people like that (I truly appreciate you).

*drops mic*

A Small Inspiration

I have a friend that makes me reevaluate a lot of things in my life. Not because he judges it and not because he says I should change, but it’s the advice he gives and the way he presents it that makes it seem like everything he says is directed towards me. And although it’s not, I can relate to it and it makes me want to change.

Change the way I view things. Change the way I handle things. Change the way I let things get to me. I feel like, there is no reason for me not to be happy. There is no reason for me to dwell on things, and no reason for me to just not let go. I have never spoken to him about certain things that I feel I need definite help with, but every piece of advice has directly lead me to help myself out in the problems I’m having.

I feel like I can now pull myself out of a situation while it is happening, and think about it without acting on it [until I’m ready to]. I feel like I’m more able to think things through from different aspects before I explode [haha, cos I do that frequently].

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel like there was anything wrong with me to the point where change was needed, but internally there was [is] and I seem to be having an easier time dealing with things. As if it’s more natural. I’m not trying as hard to understand things, I’m not trying as hard to explain things, I’m simply viewing it differently and dealing with it in a more put together manner. And I know for a fact that I have him to thank for that =)

*drops mic*