Interestingly enough...

I can't sit here an pretend I don't think about you much more than i know i should.

I can't sit here an act as if there isnt something particulary special about your presence that i can't cope with..

it's quite succulent actuallly.

I feel this happening and i think im awfully foolish but at the same time, shit happens. I just have to learn how to roll with the punches.

I feel like i lied to someone a few months back... but i guess it wasnt a lie, just a misguided feeling. If he's reading this, he knows what i speak of.

I'm not foolish, just a bit..misguided at times. Which sometimes brings me on an emotional rollercoaster ride that i frequently feel the need to vomit from just to rid myself of such emotions. throw it all up and walk away.

Ive realized my want for something turned into a misunderstood need and in the end all i could do was question wether or not i can put the want away and truly feel..without wanting it.

((if that makes sense))

So i stopped wanting and emotionally i felt amazing. I don't want to fall in-love, i dont want a boyfriend, i dont want to cuddle, i dont want to look for it.. I'll let it find me.

the worst part of all this and point of this blog;

its only when you want nothing, that someone comes around and make you feel like you need the world.

Feel...

When it comes this natural, it's scary. because i never naturally felt like im blindly walking into someone (without wanting to do so).

I didn't want this to happen, but i feel it happening...

but there's something so addicting about the natural feeling of this.



(drops mic)