There's not much to say, except that I'm sorry.
I've said it enough, yet feel as if I haven't.
There is no way to replace what that little girl has lost, and I am to blame for that. And as much as tell myself accidents happen, i can't seem to forgive myself, and the more I try, the more i remember, and who wants to remember that?
Who wants to sit and wallow in the sound of metal colliding, and the look on his face as he lay there; motionless?
who wants to go through that overandoverandover again to simply forgive oneself?
I'd rather forget than face it, but it's never going to go anywhere, and the sooner i convince myself of that, the better off I'll be.
I haven't written, because it's all the same: lights, sounds, smells, visions all from the same night one year ago, and I CANT SEEM TO END THESE IMAGES!
if this isn't hell, it's close enough.
I'm pleading silently for it to just end.
it's catasrophic, and i can't stop it.
I pray you find peace my Ash! :)
ReplyDeleteMatthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
just wanted to post a few bible verses hope ya dont mind!