Nevermore....

I had this dream,
one of those crazy dreams
a dream where I was in-love with him
and him with me.
yet found out it was lust/infatuation
no real love involved

ever wake with an ever pressing pain of fear in your chest?
As if you if you have no where else to turn but to that one person
that real love is not involved with?
A pain of losing something that's not yours
and will never be yours
yet the pain associated with your love that you know is real
is unbearable.

I woke up sweating.
In the middle of November.
My heat was off due to mother natures indecisions
yet I was sweating
as if I fought a tough battle in my dream
I awoke in a place I find to be my safe haven
but was scared to rise out of my own fear of failure
to ever truly
trust
believe
and love someone again.

*passes mic*