Overwhelming Realization

Fact #1:
I love hard.

Fact #2:
Falling out of love hurt more than I ever imagined.

Fact #3:
Im afraid to fall back in love bc I never want to feel what I felt during Fact #2 again.

But It's inevitable that I will, right?

I'm not the "look forward to it" type.

I'm a realist.

I know what It's going to take for me fall completely like that again.

And the way I've cut myself off emotionally from a lot of things,

I just don't see it happening again.

But then again,

who's to say I wont find a man that loves just as hard as I and will actually Love me

...and only me.

So in a way, I can't speak on never being in-love again.

But I don't look forward to it.

I don't pray on it.

I don't even think about it

(as I am now)

and the times I do think about it

I write it away

because there's nothing worse than being so consumed for so long

and then nothing.

That quickly, nothing.

It's the nothing that's overwhelming at this point.

It's the realizartion of that overwhelming nothingness that has me sitting here

contimplating

thinking

about the next man I may fall in-love with

and preparing for the day it all goes away.

*drops mic*