Anger Driven

I’m experiencing slight bouts of random anger lately.
Actually it’s been like this for awhile now but it is becoming more frequent. Because of my sense of humor no one is taking it seriously. Which I guess is a good thing because I don’t need people down my throat about it. But this really isn’t a joke at all.

The only way I know how to deal with it is by staying away from people and that is starting to turn out to be a disaster. But no one gets that this anger feels like hate and all I want to do is make someone hurt. So if I’m around you, I may say things intentionally to hurt your feelings, and although I would normally never do that, I’m not in my right mind and don’t care. I have actually tried being around people thinking that maybe it would help, but the slightest thing set me off and let me tell you, keeping my mouth shut and trying not to be really mean was one of the hardest things I had to stop from doing.

Some people are taking me being distant, or me not trying to hang out with them as me not caring, or that I’m being rude. That’s not the case. I’m genuinely afraid that if I don’t keep my distance I will hurt you. You will hate me. We will never speak again.

And sadly, I will not care.



*drops mic*