Art. Part Deux.

Salvador Dali

His genuis is magnificent. It's hard to put words to the feelings I get when I look at his art work.

You can dream something and never remember it. Or you'd remember and be unable to fully grasp what it was you dreamed about. Dali had a way of taking his dreams, as bizzarr as they may have been, and making them art. Now, not all of his art is from his dreams but many of the pieces I admire most are.

Looking at his pieces summon a sort of wonder and awe. You can always look and see something different, or catch it from a different angle and feel like you're looking at a whole new piece of work.

'Swans reflecting Elephants' (1936)

This is definitely one of my favorite pieces by him. I remember first stumbling across it, quite unintentionally, and feeling confused at first because I didn't see a meaning behind it. And until recently, I was naieve enough to view all art as having some sort of meaning behind it and that if you didn't know it, it made no sense. And now as I've become more into art, I've realized that what the art means to you is what matters. What you take from it, how you view it, how it makes you feel..that is what matters. That to me, is what art signifies. The feelings in which it draws from the person.... So, I sat their staring at the picture and as soon as I saw the first elephant on the right I was stunned. I was in absolute awe of how he painted it. I remember feeling completely amazed. I smiled. And felt at ease. I must have stared at it for a good 30 minutes. Of course afterwards i googled 'Dali, Elephants, Swans' and came back with the above title. Searched above and beyond for it, and as little as 24 hours, it will be hanging on my livingroom wall =)

The next paintings [on right] I absolutely LOVE. 'Woman with a head of roses' is extremely intriguing to me. There's something about they way he painted her body and the way in which the cloth clings to it in such a flowing manner. The head of roses symoblizing the insignifigance, yet beauty of her face... The man behind her..wether or not a ghost, wether or not someone following her, or someone she passed by, I wonder about constantly.

I actually forgot the name of the one on the left. And yes, I could google it right now but that would be too easy.

Lincoln in Dalivision

This picture is actually another one that I am purchasing.

"The Archeological Reminisence of Millet Angelus"

Something about this stirs death within me. It seems as if the two figures are in mourning. As if sadness has overtaken them. The somberness in this picture draws me to it.

I really don't have a reason as to why I am so encaptured by Art lately. I just am. And feeling the emotion I feel when I see a certain piece of art is what I have seemingly been yearning for.

*drops mic*

One More Picture...

Ok, so I did say I would get another picture of my outfit from Saturday night, so here's one more...

*please note, I was unprepared for the picture*

Art. Like I've never seen it before.

Call me uneducated when it comes to Art but I haven't seen anything profoundly beautiful lately.
I can google practically any artist. Any type of art. Any year.

But Art these days is not the Art of those days.

And I've fallen in-love with the Art of those days.

Leonardo Da Vinci equals what?

Mona Lisa (1506) and the Last Supper (1498)

(His self portrait, the face of a woman, and the anatomy of a man)

Pretty much that's all I know, (and as you can see I only know the actual name and date of two).

In school it was as if that was all that mattered. And personally, I don't see the big deal with the Mona Lisa. And The Last Supper is only interesting because of the controversy surrounding it. Don't get me wrong, it is beautifully painted but no real reaction from me.

I happen to come across alot of his other paintings recently and I was left speechless.

My personal favorite is 'Fight between a Dragon and a Lion.'

One interesting fact about Da Vinci is the recent findings that many scholars (whomever) are coming across. The fact that many of his paintings actually have mirror images of God (some say). Regardless of who the images are of it is absolutely stunning.

This is the most intiguing picture I've ever set eyes on. Don't get me wrong, it creeps me out, but i love it. And yes, I am a huge Dali fan and his artwork is stunning to me but this image sends a chill down my spine, but it's satisfying chill that I can't get enough of.

That picture was actually found in the mirror image of 'Mona Lisa' right in the lower right corner. And it's actually seen in 'Mary, Christ, St. Anne and the Infant St. John' (the charcoal version, not the oil painted one). It is absolutely stunning.

http://www.lairweb.org.nz/leonardo/anne.html

Check out the charcoal one and see if you see it.

And here's the sight were they point out the image in the Mona Lisa.

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,20797,22880782-952,00.html?from=public_rss

All I can say is;

I wish my art teacher would have put more emphasis on more of Da Vinci's paintings rather than the select few.

Because paintings like these would have made me follow my younger dreams of being an artist.

Now my bigger love has a different view on things.

He goes by the name of Salvador Dali, and he gets a Blog all to himself...

*drops mic*

What nonsense...

I'm not sure if I enjoyed my weekend or if I hated it...
Regardless, it was comical.


Saturday was a cookout thrown by a friend. Decent music, pretty good food, alcohol and silly ass beer games (which i sadly did not partake in). My kids were with me so that was a handful in itself. They don't listen...smh...but the commentary amoungst friends is probably what kept me from exploding.
So, did I have fun?
*shrugs*


Saturday night was a different story...



We all went to Red Square... Meesha, Keima, Jovar, Ace, (annnd i forget his name).. and it was dead...
We looked sooo good that we didn't even wanna go in. All we could do was laugh.. But went in of course because we had to show love to Bway. Eventually Bway showed up, we showed love yet didn't leave. I'm still preplexed as to why we stayed...


Pedro showed up (i think when we decided we needed drinks to make the night better) and that was intersting. His mom cooked the best spanish food that I've ever had, hands down. I took a plate to go and put it in the car but not before i tasted it..and it literally made me want to go home, snuggle up in bed, watch TV and EAT!
The night turned out to be quite hilarious because of course, Pedro and Meesha decided to continuously do the 'HA-KEEM.'


smh...fuckin hilarious




My outfit was gorgeous if i might say so myself. The good pictures are on my FB but i can't log in @ work (go figure) so here's the best i can do...

I loooove it! and it looks lovely with my complexion =)

Sunday was filled with shopping! Well, for my kids anyways. Although, I did hit up Aeropostale and found the bathing suit I wanted for $40, and I got it $10!!! Gosh, I LOVE sales!

And Monday was a nice lovely cookout with the family. And by "Lovely" and "Family" I mean, kids drove me craaazy..but since we were with family, it didn't bother me as much.

Keep your religion to yourself.

I like to think I'm pretty informed when it comes to religion.
At least enough to feel the way I feel about it.

I'm not overly religious. But I do believe in God. Proof or no proof, She's out there.
But I recently read something that described my feelings towards God completely, which was shocking to me because I've never been able to explain it quite like this;

"Having faith requires leaps of faith, cerebral exceptance of miracles-immaculate conceptions and divine interventions. And then there are the codes of conduct. The Bible, the Koran, Buddhist scripture...they all carry similar requirements- and similar penalties. They claim that if I don't live by a specific code I will go to hell. I can't imagine a God that would rule that way."

That sums up my faith.
I believe that if I live my life the best way that I could and tried to be the best person I could be, that God will know that. God will know in my heart that I tried. I don't think She's going to judge me based on the fact that I had to get a divorce because there was nothing left, or because I was unable to go to church everyday of my life, or because I cursed too much, or because I decided to live with someone before I got married ect...The God I believe in is not judgemental. The God I believe in loves me and apprecitates how hard I've worked, and appreciates how hard I'm trying to be a better person. She's not going to send me to hell because I wore jeans, support gay rights, or am in fact a lesbian. That's not my God.

Maybe it's the way I was raised.
I remember mom telling me
"You be the best person you can be and God will know that."
And I believe that.

"My mind tells me I will never understand God
And my heart tell me I am not meant to."

Oh, i believe in God...Just maybe not your God.



"Religion is like language or dress. We gravitate toward the practices with which we were raised. In the end. though, we are all proclaiming the same thing. That life has meaning. That we are grateful for the power that created us."


*drops mic*


[Quotes taken from 'Angels & Demons' by Dan Brown]

See, what had happened was...

I spent the night laughing hysterically with some of the funniest people ever.
But by funny, i mean assholish funny, which makes things so much more amusing.

A BBQ @ 9pm, in the ghetto...you tell me what that spells out to you..
T.R.O.U.B.L.E..
Normally, little shit is expected,
but that shit,
that shit right there...
was NOT expected...

I'd continue to explain the details of a boy hitting a girl, who in turn brings her FAMILY back to beat his ass, who then shouts "I don't wanna fight" with a knife in his hand, who in turn runs upstairs, fight insues, his boy who is on parol goes in, gets fucked up along with his moms, boy comes out of window, throws knives and a can of diced tomatoes at the people fighting, cops come, boy comes downstairs tryin to fight...
I'd continue to explain all that...
but who am i to gossip??

*sidenote*
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE CAVALIERS??? smh...disgusting.


but the highlight of the night [Yes, it gets better]
We decided to make a dance and a rap [yes, a rap] out of the whole cherade...
"Do tha Hakeem, do the hakeem...[Do it Do it, do it do it]
I don't wanna fight, he got a butcher knife, he up in the window, while nigga's goin in tho, he fightin like a bitch yo, which his diced tomatoes..
I stopmed out my wifey, dirtied up my nike's, boys mom is goin in tho, still chuckin out my window..
Do it Do it, do it do it!
Now double time tha HAkeem!"

Yezzzzzir, we are assholes.
But it was HILARIOUS!

I <3 my friends.

*drops mic*

Frame of Mind

Laying on my couch w nothing to do leaves room for thought.

I'm lacking self restraint in a way.
I know I'm not suppose to do something and yet, I feel so compelled to do it.
I need to find a more positive outlet for my mind.
A better way to breathe.
An easier way to take this burning sensation from my chest and dispose of it
[properly].
I don't know if it's anger or anxiety…
all I know is that it's there.
Lurking.
Taunting.
My heart is racing and all I can think about is making someone hurt..
[A few special people]
And the satisfaction of their suffering will complete me.
[So I need it]

I want to feel complete.

Laying on my couch lost in thought.. Seeking an outlet for pent up anger driven hate.

*drops mic*

Am I being punked?

Ashton??

If he doesn't pop out from underneath my desk in 5 second I'm gonna flip!



[looks around]



OK, so maybe not, but really?



We can exchange glances and you'll think I wanna fuck.
I'll say,
"You're cute"

You'll think
"I wanna fuck"

Do i have, [and anyone can answer this one],
"I WANT TO FUCK YOU!"
flashing in neon lights across my forehead??

Yes, i am guilty of being a flirt, but that is it. I don't get where men come off thinking that just because i talk to you, or give you a compliment, that i wanna have sex...I don't!
And if i did, you'd know.
I'm a straightforward kind of girl. If i want you i will tell you, end of story.
There's is absolutely no shame in my game.
[haha, AC's got gaaaame]

Generally this wouldn't bother me. Actually it never has before because i was in a relationship and just didn't care. But now that I'm not, it's like, "Damn, can i just get to know you?"
Damn..at least pretend you want more than...actually, scratch that...I had a run in with a guy who played it like he liked me, got to know one another. and come to find out kid was...[brace yourself]... MARRIED!!
womp womp womp...
That story deserves it's own blog...
[Maybe tomorrow]


but back to the original complaint...
Will men ever get it??
*sigh*
[smh]

*drops mic*

Your disease is killing me...

I'm feelin some type of way...

He's constantly around because we have kids together.
I came clean with him about a month ago.
I simply stated,

"I feel I'm emotionally done with this relationship."
Did he think i was joking?

He's done this for 6yrs.
I'll tell him how i feel about something, what's bothering me, what I want to do, what i dont want to do, ect.. and it's like in one ear and out the other. As if everything I'm sayin means nothing.
And if i bring it up and tell him he thinks im a fuckin joke, he gets mad. Yet continues to do the same shit. Continues to act like i didnt say a fuckin word to him.

"You can't force me to fall back in-love with you."
*blank stare*

What the fuck?
I think it's like, now that he knows im serious about how i feel and there's nothing left, he wants me now. He wants the family back, he's "in-love" with me...Men always want what they can't fuckin have (or what they are losing).

Yet, he wont sacfice his "friendship" with that cunt he cheated on me with ( I have the right to call her that bc she's disrespectful bitch)
"oh, we have the dog together"
Nigga, FUCK that dog! what the fuck is wrong with you??????
and he refuses to go to therapy.
This kid needs therapy. He has too much pent up anger from his childhood and he needs to work on bettering himself before i even give this relationship ANOTHER chance.
Shit, I need to start back up with it as well.
Im worried about bettering myself for my kids and our future. How am i supposed to fix this broken relationship when I'm just as broken?
I need time to heal and fogive him for everything.

That's my problem. I don't have the strength to forgive him right now...
I really don't.
It took me about 5yrs to forgive him for what had done. And i told him that. And we were happy [so i thought] and then i find out about the shit he had currently been doing. And it's like, I just forgave you, now i have to fogive you all over again?
And I can't.
I've tired, but i just can't right now.

Everytime he's around i get really angry inside. All i want to do is YELL and SCREAM and HURT him.
Break his heart.
I want him to hurt like I hurt.

[smh]

And I've told him that. And he just doesn't seem to get it.
He thinks that coming around and having amazing sex with me is going to change something. Like it's going to make me forgive and forget.
But the sex is just sex now.
It's not even the same anymore.
I no longer feel that emotional attachment to him like I use to.
And that hurts.
A lot.
Falling out of love when you were completly consumed in it for so long, hurts.
A lot.

The worst part is that this is killing me more than it is him...

[I am no more, I have nothing left to give.]

Ill Mannered

I like to think I'm enough into music to give opinions on it.

Drake:

All I can say is "Wow!"
yea, that dude from Degrassi.

Which is funny to me because I remember some years back when he did that song 'Replacement Girl" ft. Trey Songz...I thought it was a joke. Not that the song wasn't hot, but they premiered it right after Degrassi @ like 11pm and i was like,

"Is he serious?"
and well, he was. Very much so.

And here I am admitting years later that the kid is fly.
Lyrically he's surpassing many of these other rappers out here and the boy is 22.
They're sitting around comparing him to Lil Wayne, which i guess as a rapper he may be thinking, this is great. But really, lil wayne?
If you really listen to all his songs, he's not.
His voice is beautiful [not suicidally annoying]
His rhymes are straight forward and very surprising

["Did he really just say that?"]

and definitely not repetitive.
[if there's one thing that pisses me off about lil wayne is his repetitiveness]

Drake KILLED the Ransom track ft Weezy...outshines him with no problem.
Don't believe me?
http://www.myspace.com/thisisdrake

I took the liberty of dl'ing 'So Far Gone,' and I can't get enough of it.
I highly recommend doing the same.
It's interesting how he goes from a singing as well as he does on 'Brand New' and then goin in on 'The Calm.'
I'm definitely impressed.
[Yes, because I matter]

And that Hot97 freestyle on 4/19...CRAZY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VnWPRNzd3Q

Drake-Congratulations [smh] CRACK!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-OzvlQyYks


Wether you agree or not, the Kid is goin hard right now.
I applaude the album -

[And if Bway doesn't get him to the 518, I will personally beat his ass =P]

*drops mic*

Sincerity, in its truest sense...

You can sit at work and work,
or you can sit at work and blog.
Hm...

I'm just thoroughly confused with the current state of my mind.
I don't ask for much..matter of fact, i don't ask for anything.
Except for maybe,
Respect.
Honesty.
That's pretty much it.
Yet, I get neither of the above.
But those i do get it from (who know who they are)
i thank you.
But those that dont (who know who they are)
I curse you.
Because honestly, honesty is not that hard.
Especially between friends..
or maybe it's "friends."
yeah. that's my problem, i have "friends."
[smh] it's sad, in the truest sense of the word.

I'm compelled to fuck someone up.
But yes everyone, I do have more class than that.
[sadly, sometime I wish I didn't]

So this is me holding my head up and walking away.
Because I'm better than this.

If I were you..

I wouldn't be so pretentious.
Excuse my lack of a better word, but i think that sums you up.
I'd like to continue my livid thoughts of you
but how would that make me look?

like you?

Exactly.

So for all the things I want to say I'll just say this:
I will, and I promise, fuck you up. Don't let my calm demeanor fool you.
Don't let my lack of words for scum such as you, fool you.
Actions do in fact, speak louder than words.


Yours Truly,
The one you can't get enough of.